Maggie update 4/24/12
It has been 5 weeks since we have seen or
talked to Maggie. Today we were able to
speak with her. Oh MY GOSH--It was so
nice to hear her voice. She sounds
great. She was a bit verklempt at first. It was so sweet. (I was surprised that I didn’t follow
suit!) However, she has a great
attitude, she is learning new skills, working on her deficiencies and learning
about her strengths. I am so proud of
her. She has been on my mind for all
these weeks but after talking to her today I was thinking about what could
possibly be the reason she seems to be doing so well. Frankly, I thought she would be struggling so
much more. Yes, she has her
moments. She says she gets very
homesick. She says she struggles with
group dynamics and getting along with the girls. She struggles with the obstacles such as
hiking with a 50 lb pack on her back in 90-degree heat and enduring a long day
of hiking to get to their destination.
But what keeps her going? What
motivates her to persevere? What keeps
her smiling?
Parenting is tough. Parenting comes with all kinds of
distractions, especially these days.
Kids have SO many choices. Kids
have SO much more at their fingertips than I did when I was young. Life was so much simpler then (yes, I am
OLD!). There’s FaceBook, iPods, iPads,
computers, cell phones, texting, choices in afterschool activities (way more
than I had), and SO MANY choices—PERIOD (just look at the shampoo aisle at the
grocery store!). How can you be an
effective parent these days with all these distractions and choices? I believe parenting is a very serious
occupation. It is met with all kinds of
trials, whether you have a typical kid or a child with challenges. It is a parent’s obligation to teach
accountability, prioritization, commitment, responsibility, thoughtfulness,
kindness, morality, respect, work ethic, independence, self-reliance, community
awareness, and good citizenship. That’s
a LOT! So, what is the secret to making
all of that happen? I truly believe it
takes a village to raise a child. I
believe it is being part of a strong community. In our case, it’s being a BIG part of our
church. Over the past few weeks, Maggie
has been almost overwhelmed with letters (mostly from our church but also from
other caring friends and family). She
has had people writing her some of whom she doesn’t know. The church has been supporting her
emotionally and prayerfully. Her church
family has held her up high. AND, it is
making a difference. She said she has
received so many letters and it makes her feel good. It makes her feel loved. It makes her want to work hard. It helps her overall attitude. For that I am eternally grateful!
I have worked hard as a parent to teach my
children all these parental responsibilities.
I am a firm believer that being a good citizen is the basis for being a
good person. My
children are expected to be an integral part of our church and the community. My children are expected to be servants of
God and to the incredible community we have at Mountain View Presbyterian
Church (even Nicolas). My girls have been expected to play bells and sing
in the children's choir. They are expected to use their talents and gifts
or learn other gifts to share with the congregation to enrich the life of our
church. There have been times (and this past Sunday was one of them) that
my children have begged me to let them miss a practice or not go play bells or
sing in church. Lexi was sick on Sunday morning. When she came to me that morning before
church, she was pale, her glands were swollen, and she just looked like death
warmed over. I loaded her up with Tylenol and Advil and said, "Lexi
it is your duty to serve your church and it is your responsibility to play
along with your friends in the bell choir. I am sorry, but you will have
to be there or you will disappoint Danya, your fellow bell ringers, and the
church community. It is one thing if you are part of a singing choir, but
bells is another story". She went, she played her bells and when
there were missing practiced bell ringers, it messed her up. She was
disappointed but now understands how important it is for her to be there every
time. I am NOT meaning to toot my own horn here. But, it does
illustrate the issues parents have today.
Distractions. One child in the
bell choir was allowed to go to a baseball game instead of playing his much
needed bells. REALLY? I truly don’t understand how a parent could
make that call. Playing bells is more
than a team sport. It is the ultimate in
group dynamics. Without even ONE bell
the melody is lost and other bell ringers make mistakes because they rely on
the note before them to find their note and timing.
To bring
this back to the point of Maggie.....it makes me realize that the decision we
made to send her on this journey was a pretty darn good one. We were not making headway with her at
home. We needed more for her and from
her. She needs more than us. She needs a community of people who can give
her more than what we are able to give.
She needs to learn that without her efforts her team/group/family/church
or whatever the case may be is weakened.
She needs to understand how important her efforts are to make her
community better. She needs to learn how
to be part of a community without distractions.
Maggie is learning that she is part of a team and an integral part of
that team. She is learning that her
community (her church family mostly) is important. I really feel that the cards and letters from
home are making a difference in her attitude.
I truly think she feels the support and she is motivated to excel and do
her best because her team, her friends, her community is strong. I am forever indebted to all of you who are
supporting Maggie throughout this journey.
The quote of the week is:
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens
can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." ~
Margaret Mead ~
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